von Linda Black
Uuuuuun es geht weiter. Diesmal hats nicht so lange gedauert, oder? Und diesmal ist es wirklich irre lang, find ich jedenfalls. Ich hoffe es hat nicht noch irgendwelche Logik oder sonstige Fehler sonst sagt bitte Bescheid. Das Chap ist mehrfach gebetat (Danke Joanna ;)) aber irgendwann ist mir die Lust vergangen und ich habs nicht mehr komplett durchgelesen... *asche auf mein Haupt* hoffe, es ist trotzdem ok und es gefällt euch. Danke für die lieben Kommis und die Idee mit Sirius und James, ich glaube daraus ist das beste Chap von der ganzen Geschichte geworden... wenn ihrs nicht so empfindet, hauts mir im Kommi um die Ohren ;-)
So, genug palavert, viel Spass mit
Conversations of the night
It was evening once again. At least that was what they thought. Sirius and James hadn’t seen the daylight for over one year. But according to the rhythm they had in this castle where they were held captive it was night now. They were woken by a metal box thrown into their cell which contained some hard bread and a bottle of water which tasted as if it has been standing around for a week. But that was the only thing they got and it was better than nothing. They didn’t realize it anxmore but this treatment was completely mortifying. They had been the most popular boys of whole Hogwarts, they had been handsome and all the girls would have loved it just to walk around the castle hand in hand with one of them. And they had played around with this. They had had their fun, at least Sirius had, James had just been languishing after Lily. And what were they now? Prisoners. Held in a cell not bigger than a normal bathroom, stinking of excrements but not of them; they were allowed to use a toilet three times a day and even shower once a week because the Death Eaters didn’t want them to stink too much. The shower, though, just spent icy cold water but after a while, that didn’t matter anymore. Nothing mattered. After that “breakfast” they were mostly brought out into the hall to scrub the floor or clean the toilets or whatever. Without a wand of course, and only if they were lucky they were allowed to use a cloth. For lunch they had some stinky meat that looked as if it, together with the water, had been lying too long in the sun, at least it tasted like that. In the afternoon they were either sitting around in their cell or “duelling” with the Death Eaters. They weren’t allowed a wand there as well which made the duels slightly unfair. And in the evening they had another piece of hard bread. The evenings were actually the most endurable part of the day because that was when Sirius and James talked about the old times, how much fun they had had and for one or two hours they could forget their misery.
It was the evening after the last visit of the black lady, when she had tortured Sirius. She hadn’t dared to come again. Sirius sat in his cell, waiting for James to return. He was still cleaning the blood off the wall that had been splashed there during Sirius’ torture. That was habit. If one of them made something dirty, the other one had to clean it. That worked, especially as it also counted for the toilets. Normally, it was hell to sit around, having nothing to do, unfortunately, this occurred quite often. But today was different. Sirius sat there, leaning with his back against the wall and thinking about what had happened. Actually, it was nothing new that he was being tortured, especially not after trying to escape. It had been worth the try but once again he hadn’t managed it, he hadn’t even come to the entrance hall of the castle. What had been worst was that it had been Bellatrix who had caught him again and had taken over the torture personally. It was something strange but whenever Bellatrix used the Cruciatus curse, it was worse than from the other Death Eaters. It was as if their relationship made it harder for her to speak the curse which made her curse even harder for Sirius. However, in the middle of the “session”, this girl came in. He had seen her before, hand in hand with Antonin Dolohov. He guessed that she was a Death Eater, too; in some mission who just returned from time to time to deliver her report. The only strange thing about her was that she seemed extremely young. He would have guessed she was no older than 17 but that didn’t fit to her lover who was about 40 years old. But well, there were people with different interests and it was none of his business. He had to admit he was slightly surprised when she came over to torture him again. He didn’t really know what interest she had in him. But on the other hand if she really was on a mission she might want some fun when she came back so why not. It didn’t matter for him, who did it, nothing mattered. He didn’t even feel it anymore properly, he was nearly dead inside. But what troubled him was how she had looked at him.
It had been a look full of sadness but also full of hate. Maybe he hadn’t interpreted it correctly because he had been so tired but he was sure it hadn’t been the normal look of a Death Eater before torturing him. And the torturing also hadn’t been the same like with the others. One or two times he really thought that she hesitated but it was probably only his imagination that had made him see that.
In that moment, the door of the cell was pushed open and James came in. He let himself fall onto the floor and grabbed the piece of hard bread Sirius had left for him.
“God, Padfoot, I thought you were a pure blood so why the hack is your blood so hard to get off the walls?” James moaned. Sirius grinned. Although they were in this miserable situation, James hadn’t lost his sense of humour. James started eating his bread but as he didn’t hear a sound from Sirius, he looked up, slightly troubled. That was not normal.
“Hey, Padfoot, what is it?” He didn’t get an answer. “Padfoot?” he asked again. Still no answer. James sighed, he leaned forward and snipped in front of Sirius’ nose. Sirius jumped and hit his head against the wall.
“Ouch,” he said. “What was that for?” James grinned.
“What the hippogriff were you thinking about?” Sirius didn’t answer.
“Padfoot?” James asked, now slightly troubled. Sirius looked up.
“Oh… nothing.” “Well, nothing seems to be quite interesting, doesn’t it? Hey, Sirius, I think I know you well enough to know that something is out of order so what’s up?” Sirius sighed and leaned back. He shook his head.
“I can’t tell you.”
“But why?” Now, James was really confused. What was up with his friend? “Come on, Sirius, it can’t be that bad!” Sirius glanced at him.
“Yes it can,” he replied.
“Come on Sirius, tell me, please!” Sirius shrugged his shoulders. “Fine then. But promise not to laugh, ok?” James nodded. Sirius carried on.
“Did you see that girl who came in with Dolohov today? She has been here once before, also with him.” James nodded. Sirius didn’t look at him when he carried on. “I think I’m in love with her.”
“What?” James asked, alarmed. “But… she was like 17 years old… she’s just a child!”
“I know,” Sirius replied. “And that’s what makes it so horrible.”
“But… she tortured you, didn’t she?” Sirius nodded. James leaned back. He didn’t understand it. Sirius continued. “I don’t know why, she just had this sort of charisma. I know it’s difficult to understand and I am not sure about this myself, but I don’t know how to explain my feelings for her other than as love. I’m really confused. Since the first time I saw her I have had to think about her all the time. Believe me, I don’t know why, but she reminds me of someone, it’s like I knew her, but that can’t be. I really think, I love this girl, because I can’t explain my feelings differently. James now had calmed down a bit. He could understand his friend. Although the girl had been there to torture him she was the first person outside this cell who had shown a little bit of pity for him. Because that was what it must have been, pity.
Sirius only thought there was more and that he loved her but it was only an illusion. He would realize this some time but until, then James would let him think that he was in love, because somehow it was a comfort for him. He had never been married, not to mention children. He had never felt how great it was to have a family, have a child smiling when you came home. He had no memory of love and warmth which was, in fact, the only thing that had kept James alive for so long. Maybe this girl had also somehow made him feel like he was seventeen again: young, handsome, always at least one girlfriend. She had reminded him of his glorious times.
James leaned forward, took Sirius’ hand and squeezed it a bit. First, Sirius looked at him, alarmed but when he realized that it had just been a gesture of friendship, he relaxed. “Thanks, Prongs,” he said. That was all he could say.
After a while of silence, James changed the subject to something he had wanted to talk about for a long time. “How do you think Harry is doing?” It had cost him a lot of effort to ask this question. Sirius shrugged. “I don’t know,” he replied. I think if he wouldn’t be fine we would have heard about it.” James nodded. That was true. “What do you think he is doing? I mean, I’m sure he wants to kill Voldemort… or doesn’t he?” Sirius smiled. “He is just like you, Prongs, so yes, he wants to kill him.” James looked relieved. Sirius carried on. “But I don’t know how he wants to do this. I mean, I still don’t understand why Harry didn’t die in that night but I understand even less how Voldemort managed to survive.” Now it was James who shrugged. “I have no idea. But I wish Dumbledore was out there to help him. Dumbledore was the only one whom Voldemort was ever afraid of. Now as he’s gone…”
“I guess this is the reason he had to die,” Sirius replied. There was another silent pause until James asked: “Do you know whether Harry has got a girlfriend?” Sirius grinned. He had been waiting for this question quite a long time but knew James hadn’t had the heart to ask. “He is quite popular but I guess that’s more because he’s famous. He’s not as vain as you, though. He is more like Lily in respect thereof.” Sirius just looked up in time to see a tear shimmer in James’ eye who was quickly wiped away by a trembling hand. “Sorry,” Sirius whispered. He hadn’t wanted that. “No problem,” James tried to smile but his smile looked very forced. “Carry on.”
“Well, he was more or less allied with that Asian girl, Cho Chang but he was not quite… ready for that so they split up.” Sirius looked at his friend to see a single tear trickling out of his eye and this time, he didn’t wipe it away. Sirius could understand him very well. In one night he had lost everything, his family, his friends, everything. He had come here to that horrible place. At least he had a friend here but that was not half as good as living a peaceful life with his family. Like this, the two men spent the rest of the evening, thinking about their lives. They didn’t need to talk any longer. But when Sirius finally fell asleep, James cried, quietly, no to let Sirius hear. He didn’t want to show him how weak he was but he missed his wife and his son so much that his heart ached. Meanwhile, Sirius dreamed of a girl in black robes, this time hand in hand with him.
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