von Lunmine
Thanks for the comments, my lovely readers!
I know in this chapter nothing really happens but it is needed to show that Cloe has doubts about her life in Britain and the really fast growing friendships. Hope you still enjoy it.
Love,
Lunmine
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“Aussie, what is your favourite thing about Britain?” Drew asked me. We were sitting in the common room. “Hm.. My favourite thing... Don't really know. Probably the way you guys talk,” I said and smiled. “And about Australia?” “The beach!” I said and laughed. “Of course. You always mention how fantastic the beach and the sea is,” Roxy said. “Hey Cloe, can I talk to you about something?” James looked at me. I nodded, “Sure, mate. What's up?” “Like... in private, please?” I nodded and followed him. “So, what's got your knickers in a twist?” I laughed and James laughed, too. “Nothing. Just need your opinion. I got a new offer. The Channons want me really bad. They would pay me twice as much as the Falcons pay me and I would be granted a spot in the start seven whenever I am able to play,” He looked at me. “That's amazing, James. Why don't you accept the offer and go to the Channons? Didn't your mum play there?” I asked him. “Nope, she played for the Harpies. But anyway, the problem is, I love the Falcons. I wanted to be on their damn team since the very first time I saw them play. I really love the team and everything...” “So, stay there?” “But my future there is unsure. I barely play in the start seven. Could be because I only attend two of five trainings and stuff but this is something I need. I need the experience. I don't care about the money. I guess I would even pay for playing for the Falcons. It's just that I want more games,” I looked at her. “Why don't you talk about this with Freddie or Roxy? They seem to know you better and probably they could give you a better advice...” I was a bit confused. “Nope, that's not it. Freddie and Roxy totally support the Falcons. They would advice me to stay. But I don't know if it's right. I guess it feels right to stay but... I don't want to make a mistake,” He was totally honest with me.
“Look, James, as much as you probably don't want to hear it, but, you have to make this decision on your own. The only advice I can give you is that if payment doesn't matter to you, don't go to the Channons. You are still in school. The opportunity the Falcons give you is amazing. You will probably never get this again. If you leave once, you'd probably be gone for good. You have all the time you need to get the game experience after graduation. If this is not enough for you, you should go the Channons. Do what feels right for you. Either way you will have an amazing career. I mean you play for the fucking national team and everybody sees that you have talent. In the end it's you who has to live with the decision,” I said to him.
“What about Roxy, Freddie, my fans? Won't they be disappointed?” He looked at me. “Nope, Roxy and Freddie love you, no matter for which team you are playing. And your fans, believe me or not, the most don't love you because of Quidditch,” I smirked. He smirked, too, “So why do they love me, Cloe?” “You know.” Why would I want to give him any ideas. “I want you to say it.” Such a duck. “Because you are freaking hot, you idiot. There, you have your answer. And now go and make your decision. I am not your manager. I'm just a girl you've known for a few weeks. Go get some real advice. Talk to your mum, your dad, your therapist, anyone who can actually help you,” I said and laughed. “Actually, you helped me a lot, thanks Cloe!” He smiled. I liked his smile. He really was one handsome guy. His brown eyes... Nope. I have a boyfriend. Josh. Gosh, how I miss that boy and his damn lips and everything. “Whatcha thinking about?” James suddenly asked. I looked at him. About his amazing looks and my boyfriend would be a weird answer, wouldn't it? “Nothing really.” “Your live really changed a lot. No one ever really asks you how you are doing? It must be really hard...” He looked at me a bit worried. “To be honest, it is. I miss my mum like really crazy and still I don't understand how stupid she can be and actually take those drugs. And my friends. I mean Jane, for example, I've known her since forever. She's the one I would talk about all that stuff that is going on my mind... but she is not here. Not even to start about Josh. I miss being called beautiful or being kissed. Just the feeling to be loved. Don't get me wrong, you guys are great and you really try to make me feel home here. But one point is never going to change: this is England. This can't be my home. Home is Australia, where mum is... Jane.. Josh... Grace.. Sean and Toby. Everyone. My people...” I looked at him and tears were falling down my face. “Oh honey. You are loved. I mean, I know we don't know you that long. But take Joey, he is your brother, he has to love you. Or Michael, I'm sure you don't want him to be in your life after all that he missed in yours but he loves you. And we love you, your new friends. You can come to me whenever you feel like and talk to me about what's going on. I'm there for you,” he said and hugged me.
“James? Do you know that I never really did it with Josh? You know... Like actually ... whatever? I just feel like we missed our shot. Whenever we will see us again, we have to get used to each other and then I've probably got to go again. It's had to explain... because after all I've heard from you, you are the actual opposite of a non,” I looked at him and blushed. “Cloe, what you've heard was probably wrong. I mean, yeah, I'm not a virgin – or whatever you girls call it – anymore. I'm a grown man and women practically throw themselves at me. Of course I tried it with one or two girls. But I found out that it is only real if you do it with someone you love. So, I get why people are waiting. It's something really special and intimate. If I could change the past, I'd probably even have slept with most of the girls I did. Actually, I only had one real girlfriend. And I hate myself for not experiencing it together with her. I regret so many things. I've grown up a little. I know a little more about life than I did when I was fifteen,” He looked at me. “FIFTEEN? You are one little whore,” I laughed. He joined me, “I know... I was way too young. But I wanted to try it. Anyway, you should not worry about Josh. If he is the one for you, this will happen eventually and naturally.” “James, I'm not a virgin anymore... But I only did it once with....anyway, I shouldn't talk to you about something like that. That's what I have Jane for,” I looked at him. “I know. I'm a guy and stuff like that. But I have loads of cousins and a sister. I know how to deal with stuff like that,” he laughed.
“James, I'm really glad I know you,” I said to him. He nodded, “I'm glad I know you, too.” We hugged.
“Hey, Cloeany. I need to talk to you about something,” Sharon stopped by. “Yeah, Sharon. What is the matter?” I looked at her. I didn't like that girl. I know she didn't really do anything but I just don't like her. There are people you just don't like... like Paris Hilton or Justin Bieber. I guess non of them did anything really wrong and yet people still don't like them. “You are spending way too much alone time with Drew and James. They are off limits for you, is that clear?” “Sharon, did it ever come to your mind that James, Drew, Freddie or Joey haven't got the slightest interest in you or Camille? I would even go that far to say that they could not care less about you,” I looked her in the eye. I watched her as she got really angry. “Well, if that's what you think, then explain: why did Joey kissed Camille in fifth year, or why James kissed me the other day? Really? Because they don't care about us? I think they care more about Cami and me than they do about you. Because nobody gives a damn shit about you. You're just lucky you know them and because the Potters and Weasleys are so friendly to help poor, innocent looking, stupid kids, this doesn't mean they actually like you. It's their thing to help others. So don't get you head too high, you stupid little bitch,” She looked at me with a lot of hate. “If they are only nice because for whatever reason, then why are you scared to tell me to back off of them? Because you know as well as I do that they do like me. They are my friends and yes, I am lucky they took me into their group. But that doesn't mean they did it because of pity,” I turned around and went away.
I know it was stupid what Sharon said but what if it's true? Maybe they act like they like me because I'm Joeys sister. I shouldn't bother them too much. Maybe I annoy them already because I disturbed their really cool group of friends. I know I was crying so I did the only thing I could think of. I locked myself in a girls toilet.
“Cloeany? I know you are in here. James has this magical map where everyone is shown in his current position in Hogwarts. We are there for you, honey. We are worried. Why don't you talk to us?” It was Roxy outside. I was in that toilet for over four hours now. “I just need a bit time,” I answered through all sobbing. “Honey, whatever it is. We are there. You missed classes,” she said. “I don't care about classes... Roxy... Sharon...” I started crying again. “What is it, Cloe? You know that whatever Sharon says is normally a load of bullshit.” “No... She got me thinking. Do you really like me or do you hang out with me because I'm Joeys sister but in reality you are really annoyed by me?” I stopped crying. This was the only answer I needed. “Are you really that stupid? Of course we wouldn't have known each other right from the start if you weren't Joeys sister. But honey, we love you. I would have liked you if you weren't Joeys sister. Believe me. You are one of the coolest girls I know. Seriously,” she said. I opened the door to my toilet. “I am really stupid,” I said. She nodded but smiled. “We all are stupid from time to time. Just promise me one thing,” she looked at me. I waited. “Never believe any shit that comes out of the mouth of Sharon or Camille,” She said. I grinned: “I promise.” Then Roxy hugged me. “James told us that you are homesick. We understand you. I would be homesick, too. I know you have friends back home that you miss really hard and no one of us is mad when you do. We know that we aren't that close yet. But give us and yourself a try. Make the best of the opportunity life gave you. Honestly. Think about it. How many kids get a second chance to start all over with a messed up life? I bet uncle Harry would have really wanted that second chance you got. To actually meet his family he never got to know,” Roxy said. I nodded, “I'm gonna take the chance.” “Good, and now let's go to the others. They are really worried, especially, James. I don't know what you did to his head but it was good thing. He changed since he knows you,” Roxy said, took my hand and we went outside.
“Cloe!! Never ever do that again. I was shit worried!” Drew exclaimed and hugged me to death. I laughed, “Sorry, Drew. I'll never do it again. I just listened to stupid Sharon.” I saw from the corner of my eye that James blushed a little. What if he had kissed her? Maybe not all of that was bullshit. And maybe I see too much in some things. I should stop thinking everything through. “We should do something fun. Something just for you and me. I'm your twin after all,” Joey said to me. I looked at Roxy, she nodded. “Some family time would be awesome. I still don't know you well enough, Joey,” I said to him. He smiled.
“So, tell me about mum,” Joey and I have been talking for ages now... Okay possibly not more than two hours but that's still long with a boy. “She is beautiful – as you know. And she can be funny, caring, loving, warm and just be the perfect mummy. But she hates magic more than anything. I think it is because she is jealous of it. She would love to be a witch, too. So, yeah. She never really talked about dad or you. Because in her eyes we all are freaks. She hates all of my friends with the exception of Jane. Don't know why Jane is an exception...” I looked at him. “What's your home like?” He asked. “Big. Bigger than yours. We have this amazing garden with swimming pool and view on the sea. But there is a room – my favourite room – from which you can just see the water – nothing else. It's upstairs and in that room is nothing but a big comfortable sofa and a television and many DVDs and books. It's the perfect place to spend a rainy afternoon,” I said and thought about my spot. It's were I spent most of my days at home. “It sounds nice. I wanna see it one day,” he said. “You will. Even if I move back to Australia – we won't lose contact. I'm glad I finally have you and dad in my life. I'm not willing to kick you out again,” I said to him. “I'm glad to have you finally in my life, too. You know, it always felt like something is missing. Something is not complete. Just imagine, mum and dad would get back together... We would be a real family again,” he said. “Mum and dad will never get back together. And to be honest, I don't want them to. Just think about Tenshi and Kohana. I don't want them to grow up with only one parent or even worse separated from each other like we did. Besides that I think dad and Cho make a lovely couple.” “I know. I just... sometimes I wish I would know what it's like to have a real family. With mum, dad and sister. The kind of family James has,” He said and looked at me. “I know, Joey. I wish that, too. But we have the chance to have a family like this sometime in the future. You just have to be careful who you pick as wife. Make sure you stick with her and lover her,” I said to him. He laughed. “Do you think Carol is the one for you?” I asked him. “I don't know. We've been together quite some time now. Half a year. And I like her a lot – I may even lover her. I know, I tell her I love her but I'm not sure how love feels and if it's love what I'm feeling towards her. But I definitely plan to stick around her just a little bit longer,” He answered truthfully. “Why haven't I really met her? Sure you introduced us but she never hangs out with us,” this question was bugging me for a while now. “She doesn't like Roxy. She's jealous. I don't know either. Of course, Roxy is really beautiful and funny and smart and loveable but she is just my friend. I love Carol and she should not be jealous of Roxy. Carol is beautiful as well,” he said. It kinda sounded like he had a soft spot for Roxy. I have to get to know what's going on between those two or what was going on. I don't really know yet.
The lake on the grounds of Hogwarts looked beautiful. I liked to just sit there and watch the water. It reminded me of home. “Aussie! What are you doing here?” Drew was appearing out of nowhere. “Relaxing, thinking,” I answered. “Mind if I join you? I need to think, too,” he said. “Feel free, mate,” I said and smiled at him. “What are you thinking about?” He asked me. “Nothing and everything,” I simply said. I didn't really know what I was thinking about. I probably just enjoyed the silence. “What do you need to think about?” I asked him. “There is this one girl. She was on my mind a lot. But somehow my feelings changed. Now she asked me out and I said 'no' because I'm not feeling it anymore. Now I've hurt her and I'm not sure if that was okay,” Do I look like an expert on feelings? Just so you know, I've barley mine under control – thinking about the hot best friend of my twin while I have a boyfriend. Yeah, shame on me! “I think you did the right thing, Drew. If you are not fancying her anymore it was the right thing... By the way who is this girl?” I looked at him. “You'd probably not know her since she's a Slytherin. And yes, I know, I said Slytherin. But common, the war was over ages ago and even though the blokes are idiots, the girls are quite the eye catchers,” he said. I just laughed. “I wanna see her, what's her name?” I looked at him. “You don't want to know,” Drew said and blushed. “Spill the beans! Tell me her name!!” I laughed and poked him in the side. He joined my laughing. “Ever heard of Bellatrix Rowle? Her parents are so into the Dark Arts that they named her after the woman that killed so many good people in the second war and probably in the first as well. Don't really know much about the first war, just that Harry Potter ended that one as well,” he said. “Nope, haven't heard of her yet. What year is she in?” “Fifth year. You could say she's Slytherins golden princess – except she doesn't want to be that. She hates the Dark Arts and everything. She barely talks to her parents because they are too much like Death Eaters. She is really different,” he said. “How do you got to know her that well?” I asked him confused. As far as I knew all members of the Clique tried to avoid contact with Slytherins. “We had detention together last year. At first we hated us because of the whole Gryffindor/Slytherin thing but then we found out that we are very alike.” “What's the problem now?” “She thinks I've ditched her because I couldn't stand her being Slytherins golden princess while I'm best friends with Gryffindors golden prince – yes I mean James. But the truth is, I might have a little crush on someone else. Someone I shouldn't. And no, I'm not telling you who this girl is because you already know too much. Just for your relieve or your heartbreak – I'm not sure but anyway: it's not you.” “Ouch, that broke my heart,” I laughed. Actually, I was quite happy I wasn't that girl. I could not deal with another crush. I have to deal enough with my feelings. “Have you told her that? Maybe you should have said something like that you have feelings for another girl but you like her and if she's open for it, you could become real friends. Like actually talking in public. Because I think you haven't done that before. Otherwise, I'd have known you as traitor,” I smirked. He grinned, too. “You are smart, Aussie. Glad to have you as friend,” He hugged me from the side. “I like you, too, Drewie,” I smiled.
Yes, I was happy with my new friends and my new life. Actually: I love my new friends to bits. They treat me like I have been there since first year. And that is something I really appreciate.
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